My Adult Thoughts

When my ex and I were dating, we had alot of embarrassing moments in the bedroom. One was the time when I farted just as he was caressing my bum. It hit him full in the face, and consisted of the delightful aroma of poo. Needless to say he was disgusted andalthough I was mortified beyond belief, I managed to get my brain in order enough to wonder if our dating days were over.Luckily they didn't seem to be, but something else came along very quickly to put this to the test. One time when we were having sex, something was stopping him going in very far. It was hurting me alot, and we decided to stop. As he pulled out, a small string came out with him. I couldn't see it, but my boyfriend being ever curious, pulled it. Out it came, followed by a manky told tampon that should have been taken out days ago! The smell of the blood on the thing was even worse than the offending fart, and he nearly retched because of it. I was even more mortified when I realised what he was retching about. Although I was mortified beyond belief, I managed to get my brain in order enough to wonder if our dating days were over again. At first I didn't think they were, as we didn't officially split up,but over the next few weeks I noticed that he seemed to be avoiding me. We met up far less than we used to, and when I wanted to meet up he always seemed to have an emergency meeting at work. How many emergency meetings can a shop worker in tesco really need to go too?! After this had gone on for a few weeks, I took the hint and stopped asking to meet up. This was nearly a year ago, and since then we still haven't officially split up, but we also haven't made contact with each other in about 8 months. Yesterday though, it all changed. I was out in town on my own waiting for my friend to meet me by the station when my boyfriend/ex/whatever he was at this point walked past. He was with another girl. I cleared my throat and stepped in front of them so he would see me. What happened next confirmed my worst fear. "Hello" he said coolly "This is Demi. We are engaged. She is very lady like and never farts. She is however very good at personal hygiene and never leaves a tampon in over its time limit, unlike you." The girl smirked at me, and although I was mortified beyond belief, I managed to get my brain in order enough to wonder if our dating days were over. This time, I think it's safe to say - they were.